put the smile back on. sincerly deep within.

yeah! one big problem settled for me.
it’s so so amazing. it seems God can really read my thoughts.

i so wanted to let my problems go with a helium balloon and my wish was granted by a donation i made. YEAH! the triangle i’m previously stuck in seems to be letting loose. BRAVO. i hope things would be fine now. only 93 days to O’s. Gosh. i’m so not studying.

show you my balloon of frustrations.

stuck within.

pouring it out.

last few moments.

letting it go.

up it went. BYE!

i hope God would read my pains and let me go free. i’ve been like a bird chained to it cage. longing badly to be freed, to see the world from above again, to feel the coldness of the clouds, to see the greenery and feed on the worms i love, and also to “Shit” on those i hate! muhahahaha. *grins. sitting on the window ledge with my legs bounded to the troubles, makes it impossible to stand up. =(

it’s a heavy burden i have to carry.
can i really be happy inside out?
why do i always have to wear the mask of the happy clown everyday?
why am i jinx?

i should be happy but my phone’s SPOILT! how great can my life get? SHEES. i cannot press the top left button and it so happens to be the “yes” button. so delete message? -yes,yes,yes,Yes,YEs,YES,YES!!!!!!!

BUT NOTHING HAPPENS!!!!

and my phone is only slightly more than 1 year old! wtf.

i’m getting insane. driven with what ever i encounter. the screamo which i once SO HATE seems to be getting me head over heels with them! ARGGHHHH .. SHIT!

can i hide away from the world??
please let me go!

another blow. in my blood- family. Sigh.

FREAK!

what’s with all these darn problems?
GET OUT. STAY FAR FAR AWAY.
someone buy me a helium balllon!

with scribblings and troubles.
i want them to be in there.
LET GO!
bye.

off you go high up.
will God then read my uncertainity?

WHAT’S HAPPENING TO ME?

they seem to overflow.
you cannot force a stone into a breaker that is smaller than it.

a goodbye?

shhh.. i’m using my com on the sly. hopes my sis don’t find out. X)
my life has been a catastrophe. one moment, i feel like i’m on top of the world. feeling so rather satisfied that my life is finally free from the tangles of the world and the next moment, i feel like i’m on quicksand, struggling hard to get out of the swallowing earth yet falling deeper in. =( living in 2006, hasn’t been easy. my grades are not improving and i’m getting in to all sorts of mess. it seems like i’m not living my life. a worn out me results but never mind. i believe God has his purpose and wants to make me a stronger and far better person from the teresa i am.

shall pen another round of pure turmoil again.
MESS no1:

i’ve never believe that the world would be so small for best friends to fall for boyfriends like those stories you hear 24/7 on the radio. i all long thought that those were stories made up by people who had nothing else better to do. immature you might think or gullible if you want a more negative word. i simply don’t understand why can’t the world have more love and trust? is it wrong to trust when they say all they want is a decent friendship? is it wrong to love your enemy? why must people believe and think they have the right to judge people? who they hell are you man?[i sway away from the topic. get back. get back. =X] ps: i’m not saying my best friend fall for my boyfriend. a some sort same scenario happened.

and that is the introduction.hahas. *faints.

things that you least expect happens all the time and would caught you off guard,throwing you into a corner, mourning your heart out,hating yourself for having eyes that do not see. you can’t blame anyone else but just yourself. things always turn out different from what we want. a millionaire can be reduced into shreds by just a split second. and even the most respected teacher you have can be the world most wanted man. what more is that compared to your close friend plotting out every single misery that you’ve went through? i’m not saying any of these tragic befall on me but i’m just stating examples.

real story: protected post below. LOL. sorry cannot reveal to the public eye. x) **double faints.

MESS no2:-not really lah.

my grades are really dropping and i badly need a super-prodigy-brain-transforming pill that would turn me into a genius. who is willing to manufacture that for me huh? LOL. sorry,get back to reality,teresa. okay.. okay… I WANT A TUITION TEACHER!!! -for physics and additional mathematics.
save me from my doom-ed fate. =SS

MESS no3:-not really again.

i’m being banned from the computer!!that indirectly means this blog have to rot and die! people die and rot, my blog rot and die. cool, huh? Laughs out loud. bulrrhuhahaha. xP
okiee. enough of these unpleasant stuff. i need to get a few things clear.
firstly, i’m so thankful i have a friend like derrick who is ever so nice to me. thanks for always being there for me. and doing almost anything to put the smile on my face. =) i’m so glad i have a friend like you. girls can make great friends but jealousy is an element in the hearts of girls. we, women are more malicious creature. accept the fact! LOL.

things to set straight:we are purely friends. i am with somebody else already and derrick knows it.

secondly, people can do everything for love. climb the highest mountains and dive the deepest sea just for that feeling that no one can comprehend. it a feeling of togetherness. a feeling of security ,trust ,hope and sharing. and when i say i love you. i truely mean it. =)

things to set straight:i’m in love. *blushes.

oh no. my sis is back. SHIT! got to FLY! till then. continue to comment. i’ll be back once a while. =) cheers readers.

Protected: should i tell a not?

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bluhurrhurr.. [don’t ask me what’s that. i don’t know. it just came out. LOL.]

haha. i much relax and alive now. sorry la. was suffocated by the much problems i always have. well if you are wondering why is one of my entry missing then my answer to your question is = i deleted it. (= the entry which contained what’s troubling me was strangely blank despite me remembering that i’ve saved it. nevertheless, i shall not care. LOL.

the problem’s solved!!

whee-heehee.
i’ve made my decision and i’m glad i did.
i hope you still do love me after all is done.

the joy was short last.

i did badly for my english oral.
=X
i’m still cursed.

I AM LATE FOR SCHOOL TODAY!!!

wow. just realise how embarrassing it was to be late for school. i never expected to be late but i was late. haha. but it was fun being late! LOL. i was practically being a waving model there. everybody who walked pass was like.. “Ehh.. teresa’s late!” points fingers at me. while i wave back smiling like crazy. so so embarrasssing!! lucky for me, mrs wee is on course and she is not in school. if not.. i expect the worst. LOL. i hope i won’t fall in love with the habit of being late. =Xsharks. i very much don’t want to be kuong hing no.2. he’s late once almost every week the last term. ten weeks so about 8/9 times?
show you my late comer’s slip.

so cool. strangely but i feel more honoured being late than receiving a prize. i’m weird. i’m happy today. 3 days in a roll. i’ve learnt to look on the bright side of things. and live each day to the fullest. i’ll continue tonight when i open the presents with that special someone. =)

till then. cheers.

officially declared cursed free!

YEAH two days in a row free from the intangible mess i was previously in.
I FEEL SO SO SO LOVED TODAY!

well, i was surprised with 2 presents from my close buddies. being the usual eager me, i actually wanted to open the presents at that moment but then somehow the thought of sharing the joy with someone special came to my head so i decided to wait for — to open with me. =)
*note to that person:even if it’s the day after or after after, i’ll still choose to wait.

show you the outer layer of the present.
from a good friend:
 

the present actually says: :”survival kit. open when life gets tough.”
so sweet right? i so love that friend.
then another is by cassandra and sofia. hmm i suppose some people might have seen me carrying it about. [can’t blame they gave me during recess. =) lol.]
i gladly present…..
 

they are simply so sweet. seeing the once happy, bubbly teresa somehow disappears and a stone-cold person invaded her, they melted and wanted to cheer her up. HAHAHA. AND THEY DID! sorry for the unclear pictures but the gift from cassandra and sofia is actually a bottle of seashells + a bit of sand + a message. cass says there’s no sand. i say there is! hahhahahs. i haven’t open both presents though. =)

the day in school went by quite well. eh the usual mrs wong-calling me and stuff.
after school programme: normal. we had oral again and i’m so sick of it but what can i say? i’m having my oral on the 16th of August. by the way, have i mention that i’m so in love with my O level index number? it’s nicer than my class index number of 13. it’s 25210101. nice right? lol.

ha. yar another great thing happen too. the machine which i so want the toy very much is REFILLED!! and i spent $8 on the stupid machine. LOL.

the toy is so cute. show you guys more pics of them. fall in love with them too.

  
it is the miniature version of a vending machine. haha. if you guys haven’t realise.
i’m willing to part with it for 5bucks. anyone interested?

mail me:bubblez_bathtub@hotmail.com =)
*ps: the smiley is not part of the email. LOL.

lucky monday.

it’s all over. i’ve already forgiven and forgotten about the massive conflict i had with my classmates. well it’s over. being piss and mad make no difference to what is done. so i’ll take it as nothing happen! so don’t be suprise if you see the post protected. =) hee.

okay today…
17th July 2006.
GB day. i actually was so freaking scared that i’ll do something wrong as i have a bad omen about today but nothing really bad happen today! PHEW! hahas. i was really afraid i’ll drop singapore’s flag. BUT i didn’t! YAY! bravo bravo. i did not embarrass myself. =) the day went quite well. my neck was save by derrick as i actually didn’t do my geography tourism worksheet but i used he’s paper first. hee. thanks derrick. then the chemistry test we had was not a-sure-die test. yeah yeah.*twist* hee.
then it was suppose to be amaths but due to our mother tongue O level listening comprehension, school was release at 12:15!! =) i’m so so lucky. i did not complete my amaths homework yet i’m SAVED. LOL. and also i can change out of my blue uniform so early too! hahahahaha.

from 12:15 to 2:15= free time.
(= went around pestering people to donate for me. GB fortnight. can’t be help. LOL. quite glad with the amount i’ve collected today. i really do hope i can reach the target of $300. =X
then O’level.
i’ve got 8 correct. out of 10.
i checked the answers with teachers. hee.
then went for a movie. the pirates of the Caribbean.
i’m so unlucky. suppose to watch with xinmin and derrick but xinmin not free so left me and derrick.
then surprise…
i saw the whole Scube gang and edwin. (btw if you don’t know Scube is made up of a whole big bunch of cranky and wild guys. about 20 of them all together.)
AND “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME AGIN!!”
the scenario of benjamin replays. LOL. no lah they just watched the same movie and during the same time slot too but this time they were sitting infront of me!! =) hahahaha.
being the usual naughty me, i kept putting popcorns on yu xue’s porcupine head. (who call him sit infont of me? LOL.)
when the movie ended, i went to play the “turn-turn”machine. HAHAS.

nah, show u what i’ve got.

 
so cute right? =) i’ve wasted 4bucks on it. it’s the stupid machine that is fault that cause me to waste $2 de. i so want to get 2 to give one to some one dear to me and the other to myself but the stupid machine cheat my money!! stupid machine! so i’ll just have to give that person mine. =) and that was the last ball left. =(
NVM. i willing give. hee.

hmmm.. shall blog some other time. ciaos.

saturday.

YEAH! i finally managed to get rid of the idiotic categories thing-y le!
=D
i can now really blog personally things up again. =)
hmm. just realize my blog is really rather depressing. well, i shall blog only happy things now. protected post would be my depressing entries from now on.
ha.well nothing much really happen today except for the fact that i had to reply so many comments from the previous entry and also waking up early for GB.

yaryar. you though i stepped down le. i did. but it’s GB day on Monday so i have to go back today for rehearsal. hope everything would turn out well on Monday and i will not make a fool of myself on that day in-front of so many pairs of eyes. =S
my worst nightmare:the national flag would drop down. =X
pray for me!!
oh right. on the subject of prayer, i went for a Christian movie production yesterday with xinmin and my junior, jean. jean brought me and i called xinmin along. the show entitled “Storm in a fishbowl” was held at st. andrew’s cathedral. and i have to say the show was really well done!

well, being the nice me, i shall give you a rough outline of the show.haha. *you can puke. LOL.
“Storm in a fishbowl“revolves around six neighbours. day in, day out, they meet at their lift lobby every morning as they begin the day’s activities. caught up in their own lives and struggles, they are acquaintances at best and strangers at worst. it is a rare feat when the conversation can move beyond the superficial “Good morning.”

of the six, only one- Lawrence with his fishbowl- appears peaceful and serene. the rest have fears and frustrations,which may not be that visible to the people around them,or even to themselves!

one fine day, their lives come to a standstill when an explosion goes off in their apartment block,effectively trapping them on the ground floor as the building collapses around them. stuck in a place where hop fades with each passing minute, their fears are slowly exposed. it is at this time that Lawrence’s faith shines through, and the other gradually learn about the source of his strength and peace that sustains him even when the world literally comes crashing down.

“Storm in a fishbowl” makes many reference to “fishes”, “fishbowl” and “the owner of the fishbowl”. all are symbolic – the fishes represent people, the fishbowl refers to their lives, and the owner of the fishbowl is God, the one who is control of these lives. using such fishy tales, “Storm in a fishbowl” hopes to bring out certain key messages that will touch your heart.

perhaps some of us feel trapped in our fishbowl, while others don’t dare to leave the security of their fishbowls. whichever the case,”Storm in a fishbowl” drives home the message that God, the owner of the fish bowl, won’t let you fall about hopelessly forever. at the appropriate time, he will bring you to a bigger, better fishbowl. in the process of being transferred from one to another, you many thrash about even more, especially when you are out of water and in the net. however, you can be assured that God has a special plan for you, and soon you will arrive at that bigger, better fishbowl. you just have to trust your fishbowl owner.

for those who are afraid of stepping out and trusting this fishbowl owner to guide you to a better fishbowl, don’t all fishbowls have a certain boundary? God purposely creates these boundaries to protect you. he is not dumping you into the ocean. and sometimes, he may just put in another fish to keep you company and swim with you through the tough times!

the owner of the fishbowl loves each and every one of his fish. he accepts them simply for who they are, despite their idiosyncrasies. the world may dictate that you behave in a certain manner, but God see past all these pretences, and just like the fishbowl owner, he loves and accepts you for the fish you are.

this love runs so deep and true, that God sent his son, Jesus Christ, to deliver us from the bondage of our sin. a selfless act, the death of Jesus on the cross brought our freedom and a wonderful future – eternal life with God in heaven. now, all we have to do is to recognize our imperfections due to sin inherent in us, turn them over to God, and ask for his forgiveness for wanting to run our lives our own way. when God sees our willingness to let him be the fishbowl owner of our lives, he will surely forgive us, and save us from the punishment that is death. he replaces our fears with peace and joy, such that we are sustained even during the storms in our fishbowls.

at the end of the story, some of thr characters made the conscious decision to put aside their fears and fustrations, and place their hope in this fishboal owner. others, however, remain hesitant. the choice is now yours. which will it be?

done. =) cheers. once again, thanks jean!
right, for GB’s week i have two donation cards so.. eh. would anybody be nice and help me donate? LOL. NOTE* EVERYBODY MUST BRING AT LEAST $2 FOR MY DONATION CARD!!!! hahaha. just kidding! =PP

till then.